I need help right away!!! My fifteen year old son, The Goth, who hasn’t spoken to me since he was thirteen—except one grunt for yes and two grunts for no— requested a lunch tryst this weekend, because he wants to talk.
What??? Talk??? At this announcement I felt my face morph into a rubbery special effect sequence, as it assembled and dissembled from blitzed surprise to wild eyed terror to finally, I hope, some form of nonchalance. Luckily his ever present hoodie hampered his peripheral vision and he missed this movie moment.
Potential scenarios are now flowing into my mind on a conveyor belt with no stop button. Am I going to become a premature grandmother? Has he dropped out of school without me knowing it? Does he want to want to live full time with his irresponsible dead beat father? I’m gobsmacked. I can’t focus enough to come up with a menu. Overwrought Distraught Mother
Dear Overwrought Distraught Mother,
Take the high road in regard to his request. The sun shines there and the path is smooth. The low road is always dark, narrow and littered with rocks. From your letter, it appears you are walking this low road in your bare feet without a flash light.
Maybe your son is ready to do a back flip half gainer into the fashion pool and wants to go shopping at L. L. Bean. Maybe he wants a dog? What a sweet image—-a boy and his dog, even if the dog is a 125 lb. mastiff. Or maybe dear Mom, his vow of silence is over and this signals the beginning process to reopen the communication channels.
I think you can’t go wrong with a twist of an old stand by combo for your teenage son, a sandwich and a slice or two of cake. My suggested sandwich and cake aren’t gourmet, It’s important to be sweat pants casual., but they do possess the eat me eat me hook.
Just as a side note, technically you are suppose to drink wine with your meal. However I suggest a glass or two prior to the meal to insure your posture as a potential Zen monk—-my inner lake is calm, very calm.
Open Face Bacon Egg Salad Sandwich
- 6 EGGS, hard boiled & chopped
- 1 cup CELERY, finely chopped
- 2 tablespoons GREEN ONION
- ¾ cup MAYONNAISE
- 1 teaspoon MUSTARD
- ¼ teaspoon SALT
- ¼ teaspoon BLACK PEPPER
- 4 CROISSANTS, cut in half
- 8 croissant half size LETTUCE LEAVES
- 8 RIPE TOMATO SLICES
- 8 slices BACON, fried crisp
- ) Stir together eggs, celery, green onion, mayonnaise, mustard, salt & pepper
- ) Arrange lettuce & tomato on each croissant half
- ) Evenly divide egg mixture between the 8 croissants
- ) Top each with a bacon slice
He’s a teenager. These are delicious. Hence make plenty.
- ) Cream brown sugar with softened butter
- ) Add remain ingredients—flour, oatmeal & coconut
- ) Mix lightly until just crumbly. Set topping mixture aside
- ) Mix cake mix, oil, egg & water together just to moisten
- ) Blend in yogurt & pecans
- ) Gently fold in strawberries
- ) Pour into 8 x 8 inch baking dish
- ) Sprinkle crumbled topping evenly on top
- ) Bake at 350 degrees F for 40 minutes till center tests done