Hey Mama Goose,
I have been bush whacked by someone I trusted. I work for an advertising agency. My friend, or the person I thought was my friend aka She Who Speaks With Forked Tongue, and I are the only women on an all male team. Some days we felt like we were defending the Alamo. We would look at each other and start humming “You and Me, Babe” in order to stay standing on our three inch heels, as an army of males shod in wing tips came charging.
A couple of months ago I had an inspiring idea to win a new lucrative account. After developing an outline, I shared it with She Who Speaks With Forked Tongue to get her opinion. She was less than enthusiastic, but she requested a copy of the outline assuring me kindly there might be some way to bring it to life. Four days later the corporate vice president sent out a memo commending my former friend for her brilliant idea and attached to the memo was an outline almost word for word MY outline. There is no way to prove the idea was mine.
I’m a seething mass of emotions from feeling stupid I trusted her, to wanting to strangle her with her Hermes scarf, to sad that I lost my friend.. Any suggestions how I might bring harmony back into my work life? She Who Was Screwed
Dear She Who Was Screwed,
Forgiveness is the key to the closed door you are slamming your head against. To get to the spiritual level of forgiveness can take some time. However I find the following axiom speeds up the process.
Forgive your enemies. It will drive them crazy.
So invite She Who Speaks With Forked Tongue to join you in quiet corner of the employee lounge. Tell her since the two of you still work together, you would like to put things to rest.
Prepare a nice cup of steaming tea and set out a plate of buttery snowball cookies as peace offerings. It also indicates you are calm and a class act.
Snowball Cookies With Chocolate
- 2¼ cup ALL PURPOSE FLOUR
- 1 cup BUTTER, soften
- ½ cup SUGAR
- 1 teaspoon VANILLA
- ¼ teaspoon SALT
- 2/3 cup MINI CHOCLATE CHIPS
- POWDERED SUGAR
- ) Blend butter, sugar, vanilla & salt
- ) Add flour & mini chocolate chips
- ) Form into 1 inch balls
- ) Bake at 400 degrees F, 10 minutes until lightly brown
- ) Remove from the oven & immediately roll in powder sugar
To set the tone pour the tea, smile, offer her the cookies. Make a few desultory remarks about the weather and the new hand lotion in the ladies bathroom.
Then look her in the eye and say, ” There is not a snowball in hell you will ever get the drop on me again. Someday you will need my support and it won’t be there. However I forgive you.”
Then eat one of the symbolic cookies and smile like the proverbial cat, who found the whipped cream on the banana cream pie you had just baked for your husband’s birthday.
Peachy @ The Peach Kitchen says
Great advice and accompanied with a sweet and delicious recipe! I love this post, Carol.
Carol says
Peachy, thank you for stopping by. I love your posts too! I think we have one of those mutual admiration clubs started here. Yay!
addie | culicurious says
Great advice and great recipe. It’s sad when backstabbing goes on but especially in this type of context. Also: cheaters eventually get caught up with. She Who Speaks With Forked Tongue will one day see that what goes around comes around. The universe levels itself out in the end. 🙂
Carol says
I agree with you 100%—–The Universe does level itself out. My husband’s favorite saying was, What goes around, comes around. I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of that cookie recipe. You can make so many of them at home time, since they don’t spread. People are always surprised with the addition of the mini chocolate chips.
Cindy @ Pick Fresh Foods says
Wow, That’s a super tough situation. Sorry that happened to you.
Perfect recipe for the confrontation. These cookies sound delicious! Love addition of the chocolate chips!
Carol says
Luckily that didn’t happen to me, but someone who wrote to the Hey Mama Goose Advice Column. Thank you Cindy for stopping by—–you with the prospective famous chef for a son.
Amy (Savory Moments) says
That is good advice (though I must admit that if it was me, I would find it difficult to take that route). I love the addition of chocolate chips to your snowball cookies!
Carol says
I hear you. The advice is sound. But putting it into action can be hard. One has to focus on the part that forgiving your enemies drives them crazy. Next to versions of chocolate chip and oatmeal cookies, this is by far my most popular cookie
John@Kitchen Riffs says
Good advice! And fun, too. 😉
Carol says
Thank you John. It’s always helpful to have a male point of view.
marcie says
WOW, that’s pretty brutal! That’s really hard to get over, but I think your advice is spot on, Carol. You are really good at this. 🙂 You’re really good with cookies, too, because these sound amazing with those mint chocolate chips, and I’m really craving some now.
Carol says
Think how much trouble we would all be in if we really did gain weight just looking at food. For those of us who read food blogs—-OMG, it’s beyond thinking. Now we can look and crave—-look and lust—-but not get into trouble
Pam says
It would be hard to forgive but in the end I feel sorry for this girl… she obviously has low self esteem if she has to steal her co-worker’s ideas. The cookies sound amazing!
Carol says
Aaah, compassion is a wonderful quality to have Pam. I commend you.
Abbe@This is How I Cook says
I am not very good at forgiving. But I like your advice. if you want i will chop her to pieces. You can stay out of it!
Carol says
I bet you have some quality knives to do the job too. It’s important to have the right tools!
mjskit says
I was wondering when the hammer was going to drop. 🙂 Great advice and what a wonderful choice of cookies!
Carol says
Thank you—-those cookies are one of my standby’s. They always come through for me quickly and easily.
Simi Jois says
Great advise, I love the cookies.
Carol says
Thank you, Simi.