I have been bush whacked by someone I trusted. I work for an advertising agency. My friend, or the person I thought was my friend aka She Who Speaks With Forked Tongue, and I are the only women on an all male team. Some days we felt like we were defending the Alamo. We would look at each other and start humming “You and Me, Babe” in order to stay standing on our three inch heels, as an army of males shod in wing tips came charging.
A couple of months ago I had an inspiring idea to win a new lucrative account. After developing an outline, I shared it with She Who Speaks With Forked Tongue to get her opinion. She was less than enthusiastic, but she requested a copy of the outline assuring me kindly there might be some way to bring it to life. Four days later the corporate vice president sent out a memo commending my former friend for her brilliant idea and attached to the memo was an outline almost word for word MY outline. There is no way to prove the idea was mine.
I’m a seething mass of emotions from feeling stupid I trusted her, to wanting to strangle her with her Hermes scarf, to sad that I lost my friend.. Any suggestions how I might bring harmony back into my work life? She Who Was Screwed
Dear She Who Was Screwed,
Forgiveness is the key to the closed door you are slamming your head against. To get to the spiritual level of forgiveness can take some time. However I find the following axiom speeds up the process.
Forgive your enemies. It will drive them crazy.
So invite She Who Speaks With Forked Tongue to join you in quiet corner of the employee lounge. Tell her since the two of you still work together, you would like to put things to rest.
Prepare a nice cup of steaming tea and set out a plate of buttery snowball cookies as peace offerings. It also indicates you are calm and a class act.
Snowball Cookies With Chocolate
- 2¼ cup ALL PURPOSE FLOUR
- 1 cup BUTTER, soften
- ½ cup SUGAR
- 1 teaspoon VANILLA
- ¼ teaspoon SALT
- 2/3 cup MINI CHOCLATE CHIPS
- POWDERED SUGAR
- ) Blend butter, sugar, vanilla & salt
- ) Add flour & mini chocolate chips
- ) Form into 1 inch balls
- ) Bake at 400 degrees F, 10 minutes until lightly brown
- ) Remove from the oven & immediately roll in powder sugar
To set the tone pour the tea, smile, offer her the cookies. Make a few desultory remarks about the weather and the new hand lotion in the ladies bathroom.
Then look her in the eye and say, ” There is not a snowball in hell you will ever get the drop on me again. Someday you will need my support and it won’t be there. However I forgive you.”
Then eat one of the symbolic cookies and smile like the proverbial cat, who found the whipped cream on the banana cream pie you had just baked for your husband’s birthday.